The Actual purpose of goals is to make you want something.. To remind you of what you want .. badly.. To the extent that you need
Now , if this happens to you.. It means : You are a lousy goal setter.
- You never fulfill them.
- You start Feeling bad about yourself for not following through.
- You lose motivation.
- They become a burden and you become overwhelmed every time you are reminded of them.
And if this happens to you:
- You become obsessed with fulfilling it .
- You put them before people and feelings.
- You become driven by them and only them as ulterior motives.
- They become the only source of Joy for you.
Then .. you are a lousy Goal Setter ALSO!
I am not going to explain to you the middle area of which if you fall at , then you are a great Goal Setter, because simply if you were .. you would not read this ..instead i will explain to you.. What to do .. if you are a lousy goal setter .. like me!
I gave up on having Goals and trackers and excel sheets and checklists and tasks lists a while ago… well.. I do still have task lists but i forego most of the Latter.. Why.. because it just became too much and my brain fell into a coma.. Where it started taking wrong decisions and i managed to screw up the most valuable things and lose the most valuable people in my life.. And i knew at some point that i went too ahead and too much in my pursuit to accomplish my so called GOALS..
It all began when i read my goals 3 weeks into January 2016… they usually made sense.. But i was going through so much that i was a changed person only in the first couple of weeks of that year…
My goals made no sense.. And almost felt like someone else wrote them for me!
And i felt lost and lost direction.. Started to do things left and right.. Started to follow through on things that felt had nothing to do with me.. Why would i pursue training in karate..i never liked martial arts…why did want to get a brown belt in 7 months! Who is this person who wrote my goals!
In a matter of a couple of weeks i was a complete wreck .. feeling no motivation and being almost pushed to go do stuff instead of pulled by passion.. And it became clear.. I had to stop!
And here was the actual disaster..
Where i felt like i was looking into a mirror seeing everyone progressing and not being able to see my own reflection.. Even if i wasn’t doing anything .. why couldn’t i be there.. And i managed to understand at some point that i have always identified my myself with i did .. with what i do.. With my accomplishment and my work.. And my goals and pursuits… when all vanished .. i was vanished.. And i lost .. My identity.. I was no longer there !