What is the best thing a girl could do when she loses her identity..
well, she Looks for a person to link her identity to.. Or in other words.. Starts embracing the idea of a relationship to be married .
We all do that mistake of identifying ourselves with other people .. once we lose our identity.. Or loosing our identity after being identified as someone’s fiance or wife!
I did that mistake.. I identified myself through another.. And somehow.. Managed to lose myself completely… i became the mirror itself!
You can figure out what happened after.. It didn’t work out….
Because i was not there.. I could not interact.. Communicate or feel anything and started feeling used even if i wasn’t .. it just had to stop. And it did.
Here i am .. a drop of a non-reality existing in a very real situation of loans..responsibilities and timepires…
What I do??
.. I switch places.. Houses .. friends..
I travel to my roots.. I embrace what ever could leave me with a trace of who i was..
I Less dramatize my life.. I make it simple ..for my own brainovers.
And i decide
directions.. Instead of goals..
- Instead of … fulfilling my dream of becoming the vague unrealistic “happy”.. I became 10% happier than yesterday.
- Instead of weighing 65kgs.. I walk instead of commute
- Instead of owning the latest phone … i actually call people with the one i use now.
- Instead of having 5 blogs every month i write when i feel like it .
- Instead of waiting for people to come back to me i go and get them back…
- Instead of aiming at a thing.. i walk towards it ..
And suddenly i managed to get a grip of what i was…
Call it midlife crisis.. Call it chemical imbalance of the brain .. call it what you would call it..
I really have no problem with the labels anymore.
I am becoming so simple that you can manage to categorize everything i say.. Own.. and do.
I am no longer aiming to change the world… i am living so the world would change for me.